OF SONGS AND CHILDHOOD BLUES

"Music is the food for the soul. Songs are constant reminder of who we are, how we lived, loved and laughed".

I am the youngest in our family. At seven years old, I was already separated from our mother as I have to leave home with my sister to study in another place.

Many nights sent me sleepless. I was longing for the company and comfort of our mother.I was a typical child who was accustomed to sleeping very close to her mother. I cannot sleep without her gentle pats on my back and her signature lullabies.

Just when I was about to accept the situation and decided to momentarily keep at bay my longings, I got the surprise of my life. My sister suddenly filled in.

She would give me pats on my back, not as good as our mother's but enough to pacify my heartaches. She would hum songs, however different, sailed me through the nights.

My sister eventually became my surrogate mother. Since then, she was everything to me. My mother,sister,tutor,best friend and critic. I became totally attached to her, emotion wise.

She was the first to know when I attained puberty. I broke the news to her like I was afflicted with incurable disease. I was over confident when I told her of my first crush as I knew, she would be understanding. I would shout with joy and run towards her every time I would have milestones to my credit. She had ready shoulders for my little frustrations and open arms and heart for my shortcomings.

However, I went crazy when she told me that she was getting married. I broke down and lost control. I was oblivious of losing her. I could not seem to reciprocate the intangibles she has been giving me all along. But, she nevertheless got married.

Then, I was reunited with our mother. During this time, I realized that a mother's love is constant, unconditional, and enduring. I have grown up completely but mother's gentle pats and signature lullabies were still there with their same calm and comfort.

Through the years, I basked in the loving care of our mother and unconsciously imbibed in my system her signature lullabies which I would later on sing to my children. Mother's signature lullabies are treasures that remind me that I have only one mother;I never understood her until I became a mother myself, and my LONGING for her NOW is far greater than before as I truly understand the we will never be REUNITED again in this lifetime. I MISS HER SO MUCH.